the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime.
djust your behavior
• A feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation.
• Verb [ with obj. ] informal
make (someone) feel guilty, especially in order to induce them to do something:
Guilt is one damned powerful force.
It can be the motor of great achievements, the source of great pain or the reason behind great loses.
Everything great, nothing modest, no middle way.
I am in a hyperbole type of mood today
Guilt can be the reason to work out hard at the gym after having waaaay too much cake.
Guilt can make you be extra charitable to less fortunate people compensate for a decadent, useless purchase.
It can make us be extra nice when we have been mean or work extra hard when we have been slacking.
Guilt can can make us grow as a human beings or it can stump any possibility of development.
Guilt can be a learning tool or a life sentence.
We all have the capacity to direct the raging power of guilt... but it takes will and work; desire; awareness.
There are several types of guilt, I think.
1. "Compensational" guilt
Whatever your personal "naughty" scale may be, you have been slightly bad. You have the need to do little acts of contrition to feel better about yourself.
Key words: PAY BACK
2. Ego fueled guilt
This is an interesting one.
You have lead yourself to believe that in the micro cosmos which (you think) circles around you, you have the power to deeply and permanently affect those satellites surrounding your orbit and you are a demi-god who holds the absolute power of right and wrong; happiness and despair; love and hate.
You may be a total egomaniac.
I would have that checked.
Key word. DELUSION
3. Religious guilt
you are screwed.
You have probably been indoctrinated from the womb and unless you are a true rebel or all of a sudden develop the skill to question the powers at be, you will likely drown in the bitter waters of guilt.
Key words: DOUBT & QUESTION
4. Educational guilt
This is the most positive and beneficial of all.
Ok, so you messed up... big time or maybe it was not such a huge deal but you are certainly NOT happy with yourself.
In a ideal state of full awareness you have evaluated your behavior and its consequences, thus confirming that you were not up to code with your personal ethics.
Now you need to make a choice:
a) Learn from it.
Analyze what lead you to that situation, look within you o find the true reasons for your choices.
Adjust your behavior accordingly.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, forgive yourself and move on with the newly acquired knowledge.
Key word: GROWTH
b) Ignore it.
Bury yourself in any and all distractions to quiet our conscience.
Pretend you are over it, put it in the back oven.
Harden your heart, treat yourself roughly and hope for the best.
Key word: DENIAL
which will probably give way to:
5. Perennial Self flagellating guilt
This is a sad one, awful, really.
So, again: you messed up.
There is no forgiveness or compassion from that very hard, mean judge living in your head and corrupting your heart.
YOU F*cked up.
YOU must pay... it can be weeks, months.
Could be the rest of your life.
There is a tiny little part of you which may even enjoy renouncing to all joys this brief little life has to offer, because you have convinced yourself you do NOT deserved it.
You may be feeding the masochist in you.
You may be feeding the martyr.
Key wordS: LOSS, DISPAIR & HOPELESSNESS
So you feel you brought pain or sadness to somebody's life and you must forever pay and deny yourself any possibility of happiness because you failed (who you failed? nobody is really sure)
You feel you are not worthy and the irony is that, by maltreating yourself, you are affecting the people around you.
From the hopeful to the inner circle.
Every single person is being mercilessly whipped by that self righteous cane you have decided to punish yourself with.
The question is: are you avoiding potential happiness and the hardships it may entail? are you flogging yourself because you have an unrealistic standard? Do you not think you are important enough to put yourself before other people or maybe you think you are so important that you must carry the weight of everybody's sorrow?
Can you find the compassion to forgive yourself, accept that Human Beings make mistakes and what makes us great is to actually LEARN from them as opposed to getting stuck in the unchangeable, immovable past?
In any case, this is not a good, healthy, wholesome place to be.
I think we all have experienced it.
It brings NOTHING to the table: not to the offended, not to yourself, not to the people you care about.
Let us bring happiness to the world by allowing ourselves to be happy! Let us not fester in sadness, denial and self reproach!
THE PAST HAS PAST
So the point of it all is: We may die tomorrow and what would we have left?
GUILT? do we really want that to be our legacy?
Do we want the people left behind to remember us for the amount of guilt and self denial we endured?
Do we want to lose the possibility of true love because we are punishing ourselves over times past?